Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Non-Jews are for practice
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
