The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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