walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
