P.S. I can't hear my feet
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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