windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
