Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry alysonangela hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(440): View more from Ohio

woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.

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(757): View more from Virginia

you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight

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(614): View more from Ohio

the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.

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(516): View more from New York

Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull

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