never play flip cup with pint glasses
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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