Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
50% drunk capacity currently
Randomize
