mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
