Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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