brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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