ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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