I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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