my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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