She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
