yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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