My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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