She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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