he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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