Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Everclear isn't food dammit
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