I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
