He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
