better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
