I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
