Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
