I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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