yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
