you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
