what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
