I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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