She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
