sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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