Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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