finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
