is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
