She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
