I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
even my farts smell like vagina
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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