so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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