Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize