Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
