yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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