What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
my liver is dry heaving
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
