She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
