I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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