drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Success! We fucked roommates!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
