So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
