An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
