Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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