You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
