So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
