yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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