I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
