Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
