dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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