saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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