He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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