It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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