Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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