Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
