Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
