This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
