how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
